Keeping notes of contact with parents is important.
Getting Parents Involved
Workshops for parents to find out about techniques that are used in school in, for example, guided reading. However, the parents that will sign up for it are often the parents who won’t necessarily need it. The barrier is parents’ own memories of school and their own school experiences.
Is good work being reflected higher up the school, in terms of integrating parents?
Certainly if you start earlier on it is less daunting a prospect for parents (in EYFS setting it is less about straight literacy and numeracy)
Family Support Workers going beyond the classroom such as financial benefits and housing.
Heavily involved parents can be your best help in bringing in less positive parents.
Parents Focus Group with reps who will decide what they would like to raise with the Head (PTA Lite).
Formal systems like Home-School Books, Parents’ Evenings, Reports etc.
Transitions points are key times.
Why is it important to communicate effectively with parents?
- In order to know the chn.
They know their chn the best. However, they might not know how their chd reacts in large groups at all. Chd maybe a right pain at home but angels in school, or vice-versa. It’s about building a bridge between these 2 places.
For example, the chd who can’t deal with being in a group of 30, be it because they are over-stimulated and act out, or because they become introverted and shy.
There is also sometimes no basis of comparison for parents, so they might not have picked up on things like Autism in their chd. Reception and Nursery teachers especially need to be on the look-out for this kind of thing.
- So parents can follow-up and support their chd’s learning.
- So chd see parents and teachers working together: disagreement between teachers + parents in front of the chd or implicitly is not effective. Reinforcement with a common message is effective.
Communication
- Listening and speaking: communication is 2-way.
Parents will often leave the most important thing last.
- Can be formal or informal- informal meetings are what seal the relationships, in order to cement you as a human being.
Condidentiality
- Who is the prime/designated carer? Who has the right to information?
In the case of a dispute, in-laws might be trying to get evidence that the other parent is not doing their job properly.
- Should not be party to gossip in any sense about families (such as giving information).
Barriers
- Language
Solution is ring-fenced sum of money from EMAG for working w/ chn w/ EAL. In order to pay interpreters when it’s important to do so.
Perhaps other chn for day-to-day interpretation.
Groups for parents with EAL: such as those resourced by outside agencies, Further Education agencies or groups specific to particular ethnicity.
More documentation in home language. Dual-language resources, books going home.
Important to preserve skills in home-languages of pupils too.
- Past Experiences (i.e. parents’ own experiences of school)
Need to show them you’re a nice guy. Maybe the parents will come along to festive things rather than nuts and bolts meetings etc- take these opportunities to wish them well, thank for coming etc.
Parents who had bad experiences will have a long list of excuses not to come into school.
Family Support Workers can do Home Visits in these cases, if needed.
- Apathy
Solution is having the confidence to know you are acting in the best interests of the chd and pin down parent when you know they’ll be in school, and arrange a meeting, making sure you make yourself as available as possible (early mornings, lunches, evenings).
- Denial
Parents who don’t want their kids having labels; parents who do want their kids labeled.
- Parents Working Hours
- Parents with mental health problems
Should chn be present at meetings?
What parents need to say to you that may not be appropriate to be said in front of the chd: if they think there are issues that aren’t appropriate, arrange a separate moment (‘Is there anything you wan to talk about privately?- be careful you ground this in evidence, such as a chd mentioning trouble at home)
What do we need to communicate about?
- Attainment
Report is very hard thing to do- they are not there to have you explain areas that could be misconstrued etc. Arrange a meeting before sending it home.
TIP: Go to parents as early as possible to say you are anxious about a chd finding difficulties w/ something. Do not over-dramatize, perhaps give the parent something for the chd to focus on at home. Then when something more serious emerges, you have a background, and you have been involving parents from the very beginning.
- Attendance
Increasingly big thing. Different policies in different schools.
Give 100% attendance stickers to chn at the end of each half term (encourages pupils to not stretch illness out- this occurs lots with younger, protective parents)
Make sure you ask chn where they have been when they are absent- this makes it clear that it matters to someone where they are and also helps build the relationship with the pupil.
- Health and Medical Needs
There should be a Health Care Plan setting out everything in school. Need to know health issues for your class.
Be aware that parents may not prioritise this information, or may forget to inform the school: ask the questions and don’t assume parents will give you this information.
- Special Needs
Myth of SEN chn not getting a place pervades amongst parents.
- Behaviour
Raise concerns early, like w/ attainment.
- Starting school
What is policy?
Family Support Worker liases and preparation is made.
What can you do?
Explain to Parents how the day works. Make a point of inviting them in and building a relationship. Do Home Visits for the littler ones. Running Parent Workshops for parents of new chn. Proactivity is best, especially in September.
- Pastoral Issues
- Referrals to other professionals, Working in partnership with parents and professionals
Think about this one- if it in-school (e.g. SENCO), should be ok for this to occur without explicit consent by parents (unless you have concerns the chd will tell their parents), the same way if you had a supply teacher in there wouldn’t be need for permissions.
If it is an Outside Agency, you must get consent. If you have problems with this, get the School Nurse involved as a neutral party that parents might trust more.
Tricky part is when there is a professional looking at Chd A and you are tempted to ask them to observe Chd B, who you might also be concerned about. Keep focus.
- Child Concern and Child Protection Issues
You must tell parents about referrals, unless you are afraid it will endanger the chd if you do so (e.g. if a chd has been hit and you risk the chd being hit again when you tell the parents you’ve referred it).
- School trips and school journeys, practical aspects of transition (who the new classroom teacher is, where it is- is there a day in summer when you can have the parents in to roam the school and kids can show them their areas?)
When and how do we communicate?
Put positives in- if the parent always hears bad things they’ll stop listening.
Use, ‘I just wanted to have a word...’ to prompt positive communication as well as bad. Feel free to call to say if a chd has had a really good day and no other message.
Think about e-mail and texting (downside is families will never tell you when their number is changed).
If you say you’re going to do something every day, you must do it. (Better to say, ‘I will write a note in your Home-School book as often as possible’)
Websites, MLE, FRONTA- somewhere kids can access class resources.
Before and After school, remembering about family issues.
Talking to Parents
Be honest, but not too honest. Word appropriately. Use neutral phases (he is struggling with; she finds it very difficult). Don’t use value judgements (good and bad), get a feeling of working together (we need to...), always be professional, think about expectations what ‘professional’ means in your school (grooming, dress and presentation), be on time (warning parents at reasonable notice if you have to cancel, be prepared with the background for any particular case.
Expressing Concerns
Get to know your parents the same way you have to get to know your children.
Offer a further meeting.
Depending on how formal the meeting is, find the time to write a letter or email to thank parents, and also to lay out what was agreed in the meeting.
Dealing with Difficult Parents
If you mess up, fess up. Be brave and tell someone before you see the parents. Let someone with more experience help you get out of the muddle. You will say silly things and forget things.
Listen and listen and wait til the parents have said everything they want to say. Refrain from defending, arguing things- as soon as you do, you enter an argument rather than a professional discussion.
Where parents feel their chd has been bullied, they will want to see the bully hung-drawn and quartered. Tread carefully when discussing bullying issues. Don’t be afraid to have them see it from the other point of view: ‘I wouldn’t discuss your chd with another parent, so I’m afraid I really can’t discuss this chd with you.’
You have a right to say you think something should be dealt with a senior member of staff (if you feel out of your depth).
Good news sandwich.
Think of body language: nod so you’re non-threatening, forefinger touching your thumb pinch (suggests you are saying something worth listening to) rather than pointing a finger (threatening).
Make an effort to understand Parents’ Perspective: Now tell me about ---; do you think he is happy at school?
Important to listen and show you’re listening.
